(I confess, I am feeling a little underwhelmed as my last week of the challenge has been hindered by the flu.)
This challenge has touched on so many things for me, but let me begin by telling you some of my reasons for embarking on it and what I hoped to achieve from it.
Wants:
I wanted this challenge to be something fun that I knew I would want to commit to every day. That was a big deciding factor in choosing what my challenge would be. I wanted it to be realistic, achievable and allow for 'breathing space' on my busiest days, down days, and downright tiring days.
 |
| Too much fun on Day 21! |
Hopes:
I hoped that it would connect me with people that I know very well and people I don't know all that well. I hoped for an increased connection with familiar and not so familiar faces. I also hoped that it would break down gender stereotypes and allow for a platonic connection with the opposite sex, without all the bullshit that comes with it.
 |
| Strengthening connections on Day 25. |
The Scare-Factor:
Finally, I wanted it to be a bit scary. I wanted to pepper it with all of the above so it wouldn't be too scary, but still...it needed to be challenging right? So, the things I find scary are mainly aligned with social anxiety: fear of embarrassment, fear of rejection, fear of the unknown and fear of what people might be thinking about me. And my biggest fear? Well, it ties into all three. My biggest fear is doing certain 'social' activities alone.
 |
| Going back to Modelling on Day 18 was both frightening and exposing. |
Although the flu has delayed me in facing my biggest fear, it is still on the agenda for when I'm fully recovered. As for the other stuff, did my Challenge help me to achieve all that I wanted it to? The answer is yes...and then some.
Day 2:
Going back to what I said about the challenge needing to allow for busy days, I knew Thursdays might be tricky. You see, Thursday is Dad night. Always has been, always will be. So on Thursdays, I travel straight from work to my Dads house and we have a small window of time to catch up and eat dinner before I travel back home.
It just so happens that day 2 of my challenge was a Thursday....so I text my Dad and told him he'd need to think up something for us to do. He didn't. Thanks Dad.
 |
| Ladies and gentlemen...my Dad. |
I thought to myself, "well what can we do in this small window of time?" Then I remembered that ever since I was little he'd play the guitar and sing...badly...and I'd scream and shout and put my fingers in my ears and run upstairs. Turns out enough paddying/mardying/sticking lip 'art stopped him from playing the guitar in my presence as much.
Bummer. I'd never thought about it like that before.
Feeling enlightened by this thought, and remembering my hope of a better connection with the people I love, on Day 2 I picked up his guitar. I looked at my Dad and said "you know, you've played this for so long and I've hated it for so long. I've never stopped to appreciate the skill in it, let alone even had the slightest interest in learning to play it. So it's about time I got involved with your favourite hobby."
 |
| Day 2 playing guitar. |
I thought, how poignant. I thought that we could share something that would make us closer, something he'd really enjoy. Turns out Dad thought, "the baby has picked up 'my precious' and I'm scared that the fumbling, demented child-monkey will drop it!" After ten minutes of convincing him that I was, in fact, ahem, a 31 year old woman-baby now, that still didn't reassure him much.
We did get there in the end though! And like a true child, my Dad taught me how to play 'Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star' on the guitar. Something I'd never thought about doing in 31 years.
 |
| Me and Dad. |
 |
| Me and Dad. |
Day 3:
Continuing with the music and family theme...Day 3 involved a visit from my Mum and her partner Steve, who is an actual music teacher. The visit had been planned in advance and I'd already asked Steve if he would give me a singing lesson. Now, this is high on my 'scare-factor': singing in the shower = totally fine. Singing in front of another human being (unless you're taking the piss) = totally not going to happen. Until now.
What an absolute cringe-fest! I struggled with this one, let me tell you! Then Steve told me, "singing is merely about confidence", so I gave it a go. Shall I tell you a secret? I quite enjoyed it. And I was safe in the knowledge that only my Mum and Steve would ever hear it....
...Then I remembered...someone at work had suggested to document all of my challenges on Facebook! like a prize nob I agreed that it would be a great idea.
Oh for shame! A challenge more challenging than the damn challenge! Now I'd have to put it out there for all my friends to see!
So I put it out there. A video of me looking awkward as hell and bleeding every bodies ears with a 3 second rendition of a Simon & Garfunkel song. Dad saw it, got jealous, reminded me about all the times he'd asked me to sing and I'd refused. Later, Mum reminded me that Steve is actually a guitar teacher, not a singing teacher and that I should have asked Steve to teach me guitar, not my Dad.
Like I said: wants, hopes, fears and then some...!!!!
...And it was only day 3...
....FFS!!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment